Santa’s Helper

We are in urgent need to fill a Santa's Helper position ASAP. Due to age and failing eyesight, Santa Claus' work responsibilities over Christmas have become mostly ceremonial, but there is still much work to do over a tight timeline. The successful candidate will have the opportunity to eventually succeed to the position of Santa as well.

This role is mainly administrative with a heavy emphasis on data input. You will need to make a list of children recording their behavior and recheck the entire list prior to present distribution on the night before December 25. The master list of children must be further categorized according to location, behavioral score, and toy preference if applicable.

Experience in purchasing is not required but an advantage. Procurement of  large amounts of coal from various suppliers worldwide is necessary for children categorized as naughty.

We receive millions of letters and request from children which must be recorded and answered. Most letters are received by postal mail, however more and more are coming by email.  During the peak season, there is a budget for editorial elves.

Santa's Helper must manage the team of elves to design and build toys to be distributed to good children. Much of the toy building is done in Santa's main distribution center which also warehouses branded toys requested.  Union Negotiations with PETCO (Professional Elves Toy-Making and Craft Organization) demanding higher wages and yearly contracts for elves must be finalized before the busy toy production season begins.

You will manage multiple teams of Elves which must be given yearly progress reviews. While elf retention is important, expect the need to dismiss 20% of the workforce due to the elf work ethic.  There is a tendency in older elves to lose faith and belief in the Santa Claus mission.

One day delivery of parcels must be accomplished on the evening of Dec. 24th.  Must submit flight plans to NORAD in advance or risk having your sleigh and team of reindeer being shot down.